Kids Talking Back

[Marvie]

Teenagers today are very aggressive if we compare them to when we were teens. I have seen kids who talk back to their parents and sometimes the parents lose the fight. How do you deal with your kids when they talk back to you?

[Kandy]

My son is still very young, so there is time to teach him to be respectful before it becomes a bad habit. I think many times these kids do these things because they know their parents won't do anything about it.

[Marvie]

I definitely agree with you. I think that it's the parents' fault why teenagers talk back because the parents let their kids talk to them like that. Do you also agree that movies and TV shows contribute to this kind of attitude that teenagers have?

[LadyZ]

My son is not even a teen and I deal with the talking back already. I call him on it any time the disrespectful tone or words come out of his mouth. There is no excuse for talking back. If it's not nipped now, that's how they'll be as adults.

[Lancy]

I am a foster mom and I deal with teens pretty often. We have a no back talk rule that comes with consequences including privileges being taken away. I have yet to have a teen back talk.

[Gasolina]

I agree that talkback must come with consequences, for example losing a priveledge.

That being said, teens will have learned what they heard. If the household is not one where people speak to each other with compassion and respect, where interrupting or swearing is common, or where "dissing" is considered humourous, expect that this is what you'll hear from your teen. How the adults speak to each other, and to the kids, is what sets the bar.

What you say isn't nearly as important as who you are. Before you start heaping criticism on your teen, listen to yourself for a couple of days and see whether the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

Along with the consequences you give your teen for backtalk, make sure that you're setting the example for how calm, respectful adults interact.

[charming]

Anyone remember "wash your mouth out with soap", my older siblings do and I was young (with a 14 year age difference, it never happened to me), but still I grew up when it was a smack in the mouth for talk backs (not super hard, but a shocking smack for sure).

[Gasolina]

Charming's idea may discourage backtalk, but will teach them that smacking someone is a good way to get their attention! Don't be surprised if the next time their sibling says something the child doesn't like, they will give them a cuff. Remember, we're the grown ups. Model the behaviour you want to see.

[Marvie]

I'm really glad that I haven't experienced washing my mouth with soap. I have witnessed my cousins, who are rebellious to their parents, wash their mouth with laundry soap. If they don't do it then their father will be the one putting the soap in their mouth.

I think this is harsh and it will just make the children more rebellious. In my humble opinion, sitting down and talking with them in a civilized manner is better than harsh discipline.

[shelpmagazine]

If you do find yourself in the position of having a child that has added disrespectful back talking to his repertoire of communication styles within the family, it is a good idea to announce that, effective immediately, such behavior will no longer be put up with. Reveal a number of consequences that will be meted out in response to back talking. They should increase in seriousness. You may begin with simple losses of some privileges, such as video games for that day, the use of the phone for a day, and anything else that will remind the child that talking back is no longer profitable. Take advantage of the many resources available online. Indulge yourself by reading Self Help Magazine online with helpful Parenting Tips.